buttsandbarbells:

I’m surrounded by people who just wanna get blackout drunk for fun. Like nah man. Let’s go camping or take a road trip or do some stuff we haven’t done before. I wanna live.

  • me: mom I need a new bottle of toothpaste
  • mom: finish the one you have sweetie
  • me: it's empty
  • mom: *squeezes the bottle and out comes extra toothpaste, Henry the VIII, michael jackson's corpse, the missing malaysian airplane, and 4 prisoner refugees*

love-tastes-like-lemon-juice:

codeinewarrior:

say those three words and i’m yours

Led Zeppelin rules